you guys were way drunker than both of me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
