Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
