AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize