He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
