Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
