Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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