Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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