maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
