At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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