Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize