You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
