why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
