I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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