DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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