We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
