Cold hands, warm shart.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize