Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
