I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
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why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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