Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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