I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize