im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize