I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
