I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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