Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
