it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
