You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize