i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
