it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
