And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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