If that was your dad, he is hot
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I will pee on everything he values.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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