I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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