Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
