the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bring me that man meat
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
