bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
