We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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