Can i not drive my cunt home
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This baby is an asshole
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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