forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
