i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize