just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I CAN MOONWALK!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
