My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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