piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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