There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
