he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
