I want to have your abortion
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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