smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize