do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
