If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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