so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize