Rock
Scissors
Fuck
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
