the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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