ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
