But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
tell me about the fingering
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