Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
