Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
