oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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