I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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