help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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