I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
