He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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