I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
