i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
