Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize