Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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