If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
