the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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